Thursday, 30 August 2012

You love me you say

You love me you say, as in silent pain
I cower beneath the knuckles of your caring fist
and stare up, defenceless.
                                      You stop your hand
just inches from my cheek, indecisive,
and bending over me, your breath a caress,
say it’s for my own good, and start again
to bruise my skin, and burst my lip,
and break my jaw.
                            And through blackened eyes
I gaze at your face, feel your passion,
and take your abuse, this token of your love,
for I so dearly love you, more deeply than you know.
And I forgive you as always.

© Anthony Baverstock

Can you tell who it is yet?

Anthony Baverstock is from Colchester, reputed home of Humpty-Dumpty.

7 comments:

  1. Where's the connection?

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  2. This is wonderful. It can be interpreted at so many levels, like all good poetry. We read into it what we want.

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  3. I was completely misled by this (no doubt deliberately) until I looked at the story behind it. Big on impact. I love the ending particularly.

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  4. Great twist, quite dark and yet slyly funny.
    I would re-write the last line or two as they
    are a bit sugary, but that is just me. Very original.
    Noel L

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  5. Thank you all so much for these comments. And such a wide range of responses too.

    Anon. – Please keep looking. The connection’s there.

    Little Nell – What can I say? I couldn’t have hoped for a more incisive understanding and kinder comment. Thank you so much.

    Thanks too Fran – I’m pleased to hear the poem had the impact I hoped for, especially the ending.

    And thank you Anna – I was so happy to see it called both ‘lovely’ and ‘clever’.

    And finally, thank you Noel for this response. It’s interesting to read observations like these, when expressed as non-threateningly and hedged as appropriately as yours are. I think you are probably not alone in finding the last couple of lines a bit sugary, and suspect this might be the reaction of a lot of non-religious people. At the other extreme, I can imagine some very religious people feeling uncomfortable that the whole thing is somehow vaguely blasphemous. As Little Nell says, it’s down to what the reader brings to the text. Your comment did start me thinking about how else I could end it, though...

    Thanks again. Any more comments warmly appreciated.

    Anthony

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    Replies
    1. Just to continue the discussion, as a Christian, I don't find it blasphemous at all. I appreciate the original take on the subject. Although, it has to be said, I'm not the most traditional Christian in the world. But on the other hand it's probably because I'm a Christian that I like the 'twist' of the last line.

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