Saturday, 23 July 2011

We didn’t start the pie fight

1 – 9 – 7 – 0h,
over forty years ago,
Thomas Forcade threw a pie,
walloped Otto, porno guy.

Shortly after, Aron Kay
splattered Bryant, anti-gay,
Andy Warhol,
Captain Kirk –
pieing in the sky.

‘Save the planet’ Keith was smacked,
‘Stuff the planet’ Clarkson, whacked;
pies are flying left and right,
off the planet, David Icke.

Charlie Colson, Watergate;
Calvin Klein, but by mistake;
Carl XVI, the Swedish king;
Jeffrey Skilling (meant for him).

    We didn’t start the pie fight,
       but you’ll know you’re busted

      when you taste the custard.
    We didn’t start the pie fight –
      Well, perhaps we mighta,
      just to spite you blighter.

Bernard-Henri Lévy thought
thinking men should not be caught;
Horowitz was not amused,
similarly disabused.

David Shayler, British spy,
custard in his prying eye;
Movie-maker Godard laughed,
pie’s arrest defused.

Milton Friedman paid the price;
Emma Thompson: “Very nice.”
Rambo took it like a man;
Mocha pie for Moynihan.

One Canuck against G.M.
pied the P.M., Chrétien;
William Henry Gates the Third,
facial-creamed in Belgium.

    Whee! Did you see the pie fly?
      Don’t behave too snobby,
      or become too cocky.
    Whee! When you see the pie fly,
      better grin and bear it,
      cos you’re gonna wear it.


Guru Maharaj Ji’s god –
Why not stop the flying glob?
Was it written in the stars?
Ditto Father Léonard’s.

Parizeau and Péladeau,
Pettigrew and Duchesneau
Yankee’s fielder Swisher twice,
thrice is on the cards.

Widdecombe and Mandelson;
Messianic Vorilhon;
Comic artist Tommy Yune;
Politician Pim Fortuyn.

Clair Short. Allan Rock.
Willie Brown. Murdoch.
World Bank Wolfenson.
Still the list goes on and on . . .

    Who’s gonna stop the pie fight?
      Everybody in it’s
      clearly out to win it.
    Who doesn’t love a pie fight,
      a bit of hue and cry
      and seeing custard fly and fly and fly . . . ?


© Anthony Baverstock


Phone hacking: Man charged over Murdoch pie protest
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Anthony Baverstock is from Colchester, reputed home of Humpty-Dumpty.

3 comments:

  1. Amazing that so many custard/shaving cream pies have arced to targets over the years!
    Well done, and may the tradition continue!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Stafford.

    And while I’m here, I have to say, when reviewing my facts for this poem, I cringed on discovering I’d misattributed the splattering of Anita Bryant to Aron Kay. In fact, that honour goes to Thom Higgins. Sorry Thom. Although I’ve little doubt the prolific Kay would have done it too if he’d had half the chance.

    For anyone interested, Bryant's pieing is on Youtube at:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS91gT3XT_A


    And to put the historical record straight, here’s a new second verse:

    People pieing’s underway;
    splattered: Bryant, anti-gay,
    Andy Warhol,
    Captain Kirk –
    pieing in the sky.


    Better than the original one or not?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love parodies. Very cute, and your aim--accurate. lol

    ReplyDelete